What exactly is space? The Merriam-Webster dictionary has multiple definitions. one of the definitions is, “a limited extent in one, two, or three dimensions.” Another definition is, “an extent set apart or available.” That is close to the definition we are looking for, but we’re not all the way there. The last one I read was, “the distance from other people or things that a person needs in order to remain comfortable.” woah, I think that’s it. Space is what you take from a situation (it doesn’t necessarily have to pertain to a romantic relationship) when you need to regroup, recharge, and figure things out for yourself. Like the title says, it can suck, but it is necessary.
If you would’ve asked me a couple of months ago if space was necessary, I would’ve told you, “No what is space?” I did not believe that space from anything or anybody is beneficial to whatever relationship I was trying to maintain. I just thought that it would put me in the mind frame that would deter me from what I wanted out of the relationship, but I know now that if space can deter me into a mind frame where I’m thinking the situation isn’t for me then it probably isn’t. I hate that this is what it has to come to, but some situations just aren’t for you in that current moment or in the future. You have to do what is beneficial for your own peace.
My peace sometimes comes from reaching a certain goal. I am a very goal oriented person and that goes for my relationships as well. Now I’m not talking about those corny “relationship goals” pictures that people so very want to be like, even though they have no idea what the relationship is really like outside of that picture. I’m talking about wanting to communicate and knowing how to argue effectively type of goals. The moment I can’t reach those goals or I can’t be myself, or we’re just not at similar levels in this situationship, then I need to reevaluate what I have going on. Space or reevaluation doesn’t always mean leaving or not dealing with that person.
Space is not a bad thing. People hear I need space and start freaking out. It not like you can’t come back from needing space. It’s not like going into outer space with no helmet and suffocating to death also (very harsh, but true). You can come back from needing space with a much clearer head on what you want and expect out of the situationship. You can ask for space from a friendship where it feels like your friend isn’t being there for you and you are always there for them. That’s completely one-sided and completely unfair and unhealthy. Space would be needed to reassess if this is going to be beneficial for you and your peace like I previously stated.
Your peace is and always should be the most important thing you take care of before anything. If you’re not at peace with yourself, then how are you supposed to deal with the things around you? You can’t if you’re focused on being somebody else’s peace. Have you seen that stupid post that says, “be his or her peace, they have already had enough pain.” No, you haven’t seen it? Well, here you go. Yeah, first of all, he or she is the bad energy if you have to put your peace on the back burner to be someone else’s peace. Do not ever sell yourself short trying to make the people around you happier than you make yourself. You will legit make those around you happier when you bring good energy because you’re in a good place, and if you can’t make them happy with your good energy than they probably need space from whatever situation they are in to find their own peace.
Space is a positive thing and I will continue to think that and encourage it when it comes to a toxic situation or just a situation you are unsure about. Life is just to short for you to not get what you want out of it. Take the time to grow into the person you want and need to be. Life is going to give you lemons and you just better make cranberry juice out of it. That doesn’t make sense, but try to make sense out of it because that is really how confusing this relationship stuff is! You got this though.
I appreciate all the love and support I receive from you guys and hope I can continue to help you maneuver through life as I’m learning to do the same. I love you guys and hope you have a blessed rest of your week!